The Sun-Beaten Puddle

10/365 another day, huh?

2010-01-08T03:36:08Z

10/365 another day, huh?
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

So today one of the women that works with us that we THOUGHT was solid didn't show. Not only did she NOT show but she didn't call. She's never done anything like this and so we were worried. We called and called and called. Even called her husband who then called and called and called.

Apparently she up and left him. So, wow. I guess giving work a call wasn't foremost on her mind.

I'm starting to get feedback on the TalysMana Viewers and so far 100% positive. YAY!!!

Lastly about two years ago I was at a someone's house. This someone I was once a good friend to, despite her constant negativity, her constant whining and self-centeredness. She had to be the most immature, whiny person in the world and yet, at times, I thought she could be a genuinely good person. I suppose friendship can be like being in love with the wrong person; you see what you want to see.

Despite what EVERYone told me (even her so called FRIENDS!) I was friends with her. So I sat on the floor with her while she watched the video of her wedding for the millionth time. She watched it for weeks after the real thing, rewinding parts over and over again.

She told me how much she spent, how much she got from gifts, how much they "made" off the wedding. Etc. She bragged about the cost of things (and meanwhile her sister-in-law had to live with them and contribute just for them to make ends meet). She says that "Everything is downhill from now on."

(wow, I'll bet her brand new husband and future child feel just abundantly blessed to have HER in their lives).

Then she says something about my wedding and I chose my words very carefully, basically saying that I wasn't interested in spending money I didn't have or making Tony purchase a ring we couldn't afford. I told her I didn't want a shiny diamond ring to show off.

"Well, I guess we're different that way," she told me. "You're just simple."

Writing it it doesn't sound so bad, but the way she said 'simple' is what sticks in my mind.

-To me a 'simple' person is one who only thinks of themselves as the center of everyone's world in every situation - it's the easiest mental route.
-To me a 'simple' person is someone who reacts to every one of life's circumstances the way society has taught them - like a good little sheep.
-To me a 'simple' person is someone who never learns to think for themself but instead looks to TV and their fave glam stars and starlets and glossy mags for the most 'it' opinion to have on a situation.
-To me a 'simple' person is someone who is content whine and bitch about being an employee under a long chain of employees (but will never strive to be anything more) and who will never make a difference but has no problem giving when society tells them to.

To me a person that thinks for themself (despite what TV tells them to think) and reacts intellectually to life, someone who has dreams and ambitions and is taking steps towards them, someone who desires things because they help build a sense of completeness and, in actions and thought and inspiration, make her feel more whole... This is not a simple person. That is a real person.

8/365 disappointment when the dust of the day settles

2010-01-06T03:03:50Z

8/365 disappointment when the dust of the day settles
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

I heard a quote once that said something along the lines of "you'll outlive your disappointment." I believe this is a good and optimistic quote and something that is mostly true. It doesn't apply in every case but with the day to day or even month to month disappointments it's certainly accurate.

I got my ex-neighbor a job at MM before Christmas. Again and again I heard the 'thank you's and the 'this is a miracle, it came when we needed it' and other like phrases. I didn't need to hear it, I was just happy that she had a job and I had someone to talk to on the way to and from work. More than that I was happy that the kids would have more presents for Xmas and food and power.

I should have remembered that people who show their thanks so profusely in words tend to lack proof in action.

There has been one problem to the next with her employment and when ANY OTHER EMPLOYER would have FIRED her ass, my boss kept her.

She called me on my way home today. Unlike a normal friend she only calls when she needs or wants something. I didn't notice this pattern at first but I really should have as when they were neighbors her and her husband became more involved with us when they asked to hook up an extension cord to out outside outlet as they had no power. We said yes because they have four kids, 3, 5, 6 and 9.

Today the phone call was no different. She took off yesterday because of issues and basically she was telling me that she couldn't come in tomorrow like she said she would. Then she said that because she cannot be reliable our boss is going to fire her and she doesn't appreciate that so she really just should do it for him.

Uh-huh. The owner has done favor after favor for her and I have the suspicion that he did these things because she's my friend. He's been too kind and overlooked some disappointing behavior from her and for what? No notice.

The issue is more in depth, the conversation was longer but basically I am tired. It surprises me how easily some people just take. How little appreciation they show others, how little respect the have for even themselves, much less others.

So today, instead of being disappointed by expectations I had of someone else that might have been unfair, I am going to be grateful.

o I am grateful that I am conscientious enough to appreciate things done for me.
o I am grateful that by being who I am I attract those who also appreciate me.
o I am grateful that I am strong enough to reject those who I don't need or wish to have in my life.

7/365 Y2 mad world

2010-01-05T18:30:22Z

7/365 Y2 mad world
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, Going nowhere

-Mad World (Donnie Darko)
Gary Jules

Today I struggled to get out of bed. Once I got in the car to go to work I felt as if I was no longer in control of where my feet led me. I got to work - which thankfully went quickly - and went through the motions in a calm state. I went to clean a home and for the first time in months drove. Thanks to my dreads on the way I felt more me than I have in a while, but I looked over some actions that I've taken recently that need to be acted upon. Altered in the future.

While I feel I am on my way to a better place in life I worry that the mad world, the mad world will keep me stuck and that I'll never find the voice or the courage to break out of the shell and continue towards my goals - including (ultimately) film.

6/365 the fish net

2010-01-03T22:31:41Z

6/365 the fish net
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

The Fish Net used to be here. It was a great little place owned by a lady named Lucy. It was always here, even when my ex was a little kid.

When I heard it was closing down I felt horribly sad. Today, upon seeing it, I felt empty.

Lucy was incredibly knowledgeable when it came to fish and, aquarium, fresh, bracket or salt.

She was great and her prices were reasonable.

***

Today we went to the game and watched Buffalo own Indiana. Smackdown. There was a free buffet (last game of the season) and we got three shots for the three touchdowns. We took a couple bday presents to the owner's wife and had a great time for very little $.

Now to watch The Hangover again. Tony hasn't seen it.

4/365 Y2 fragile or no

2010-01-02T05:05:16Z

4/365 Y2 fragile or no
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL MY FLICKR FRIENDS!!! Maybe it be a wonderful, productive, progressive, enlightening and successful year!

Today has been a very lazy day. I woke up slowly, I read more Watchmen and Tony and I finished Halo (again). We both took some pictures and I've been procrastinating about cleaning and getting some work done. I did do SOME work but since I have today, tomorrow and Sunday off I'd rather get it all done today and really reap the rewards and benefits the next two days.

Our neighbor (Frank) invited us to eat a burger with him. I am glad he did!! Cheddar and bacon, yumyum! It was really nice to sit out and talk to Frank and Mark (his always drunk friend) for about 10 minutes, then it rained (nice rain).

I am a horrible procrastinator and it's such a passive aggressive attitude to have towards oneself. So instead of sitting here writing about it I am going to DO something about it.

3/365 Y2

2009-12-31T21:08:50Z

3/365 Y2
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

The Driver's License drama is over. Finally (for now, anyway). Not without the last attempts at driving me insane of course, but I am now legally allowed to drive. Watch out!!

I took buses to the closest DMV and was told that NOW the letter from the UAIC is too old. Yup, it has to be received no more than 30 days ago. I called my boss and instead of bitching at me (too much) he sent someone to pick me up, drive me to Miami to get the new letter then back to the DMV. I am skipping a BUNCH of detail because the most important thing has been covered; I am passed this part of the struggle. I do not know what is next, I just know that for this moment all is good.

I have today, Friday, Saturday and Sunday to revitalize and get my shit in gear. I have things to mail out, create, post and time that I need to set aside to plan for next year.

I really cannot believe it's been an entire year. I remember sitting in the backyard in the cool air with my iPod and a Bicardi Mojito writing down goals and focusing points for THIS year. Now I am about to do the same. Time to break out the cheap champagne.

This year, btw, tried to kick my ass and almost did. But I am tough and I am ready for 2010. I am ready because I have dreams and those dreams will keep me solid. Because if you're not ready to face tomorrow you might as well be dead.

2/365 Y2 - up yours

2009-12-31T01:45:11Z

2/365 Y2 - up yours
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

Holy shit was today ever one of THOSE days. Not the worst day ever but it was just one of THOSE days.

And this picture is representin'. Because I swear I felt like this ALL. FREAKING. DAY. One of the HSP's always leaves her stuff with me and today I noticed a new key chain and HAD to snap it. Little did I know how representative it was going to be.

Just to let you guys know I woke up because of a text at 2:15 am. One of the more reliable maids we had was quitting on us (AGAIN - yes, she was one of the RELIABLE ones) and (AGAIN) giving no notice.

Then the girl (who I got a job here) who usually picks me up at 6:20am wasn't there and never calls. So I'm sitting here at 6:45 wondering wtf? I called her tho and all was ok. Her husband ended up driving us, which was good.

The day was rough and it was rough because of my boss who doesn't know when to take a few steps back.

However at the end of the day my boss's wife (my other boss) was nice, I got to talk to my brother (overseas) and I walked into the house and my Tony gives me the most awesomist cell phone case in teh world. It is here.

Until next time, folks, imagine my friend's finger here is for you and your frustrations too.

1/365 Y2

2009-12-30T03:05:53Z

1/365 Y2
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

Here we go again :) And what do you get for the picture? My pale feet in the air because 'I iz ded' and those are AWESOME socks, tyvm.

Today was the worst day at work ever. Just about damn near everything that could have gone wrong did and I think my boss is near the cracking point. He's a first time owner of a business and he's got mostly good ideas but he's a control freak and when it comes to a business and hiring people to do jobs at some point you really have to let go and let them do their job, sink or swim.

Also he and his wife should not work together.

Lastly it made me really see the true colors of a girl at work that I would have liked to have liked. She's nice but at the same time she just wants everything given to her and doesn't see how young and stupid she really is. I KNOW we have all been young and stupid but she's clearly been raised in a "take as many handouts as you can get" household. As in she spends her money on clubs and drugs but then whines and cries that she has no money for rent or bills and then mooches off of coworkers for food. Her coworkers by the way make just as little as she does.

As far as the pictures go I am going to try to get a few themes going and a few projects with my 365. I want to grow photographically. I will be collecting my thoughts on the point(s) of this years 365. Two major goals will be to record another year but in more depth (and hopefully the WHOLE year) and to improve as a photographer.

Btw, my favorite photo last year? Wasn't even minez. But if it had to be? Probably this one. Then there is one of me. Something a bit softer. And one with more crispness.

And anything in this set shot in the 365 days.

MeNdaFred

2009-12-15T02:37:59Z

MeNdaFred
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

This is me (apparently a flat-chested version of me - where did my boobies go?!?!) and my doggie.

He's my Prince. His name is Fred. His nose is always cold, he slobbers, he likes nothing more than to jump his total 62lbs in my lab, woof at random nothings and sleep on my side of the bed.

339/365

2009-12-02T03:33:37Z

339/365
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

Today was a good day. My Blackberry - which broke yesterday - is being replaced and the shipment should be here tomorrow.

I got a lot done at work.

I got a raise.

I got my insurance card and info.

Other good things happened, from the moment I woke up until now, because I am alive and aware enough to be grateful.

338/365

2009-12-02T03:33:16Z

338/365
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

I rearranged my side of the bedroom, helped put the pingpong table in the shed and cleaned a BUNCH.

I also centered myself and meditated. It's been too long since I have done this and it was showing.

337/365

2009-12-02T03:33:01Z

337/365
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

Sunday was a mess of wasted efforts and inefficiency. I gotta work on my Sundays.

336/365

2009-12-02T03:32:47Z

336/365
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

Saturday I walked to Pearl's Arts and Crafts. I have a lot of pictures to upload.

335/365

2009-12-02T03:32:27Z

335/365
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

The day after Thanksgiving I went to work. It was the most peaceful Bus and Tri-Rail rides ever. It was not a bad day at work. And at home I got turkey and pumpkin pie souffle.

Yummy.

Stranger #14- Rockwell-esque Kid

2009-11-26T23:41:54Z

Stranger #14- Rockwell-esque Kid
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

14/100

This is #14 in my 100 strangers assignment. Check out the 100 strangers website to see more pictures and people working on the same assignment!

Took a bunch of photos at a shoot my husband set up. They were all strangers and I interacted with this kid more than anyone so I am TOTALLY counting this. I had all of 15 minutes with this family.

This was my favorite overall moment. This kid about made me pee myself. Seriously and the family was laughing at me telling him to stop and laughing.

I am just glad I got this shot.

I REALLY need to work on my composition with people (because of my nerves and my urge to stomp my own creativity during shoots just to get it over with and stop being nervous).

I did however work very well with the kids, the parents and the weather/lighting/setting, etc.

Family Portrait

2009-11-26T23:41:19Z

Family Portrait
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

This is my favorite. This family consisted of my neighbors, their kids, her mother (and her husband) and her uncle (and his wife and kids).

All the kids got together and I had to bribe them. I told them they could do two silly pictures after they did two boring nice shots for the old folks.

They were more than happy to oblige.

334/365 Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T23:41:03Z

334/365 Thanksgiving
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

I ate too much. Notes show you what this is, as if you didn't know.

Since this day is used as a reminder to be grateful for the things you have and to contemplate the path that you've traveled, I woke up and planned and meditated. It felt good.

On the more contemplative side.

31 more days and I will have finished my first 365. Yeah, I missed a few days and that defeats the purpose for most, but I stopped sending this in to the group.

I have only been doing it for me. To map out a year in my life. To show myself how much can change, how much you can accomplish, how some good things last longer than you think, and the bad things don't last as long.

edintyl

2009-11-26T23:40:29Z

edintyl
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

Each Day Is Nearer To Your Last

So enjoy your days. Enjoy your family. Love your loved ones and let go of the ones that aren't worth your time.

Try your best to be happy and enjoy the moments that are meant to be enjoyed. That's all we can demand from life with any real expectation of fulfillment.

Then live everyday to the fullest conviction, take full breaths, stop for a moment and listen and see the colors.

I dreamed

2009-11-23T17:51:41Z

that I was writing CLex again. I dreamed that my writing was meaningful and fulfilling even if I wasn't making a dime on it.

I dreamed that the boys were my to write about though, that I had created them.

Why can I not create characters that capture me and help me to tell stories? Why do I always end up with such disappointment with my creations?

317/365 god, not again

2009-11-12T01:02:32Z

317/365 god, not again
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

So Tony was in another accident. Not his fault. Front end collision.

Four months and one day after this one.

This man has been in so many accidents he has literally lost count.

I am just sooooo incredibly grateful it wasn't worse. But now we have no car, shyte and boooooo!

His knee is busted up pretty badly. Poor thing :( I was not in the car, he was coming to get me from the Tri-Rail.

My parents were up in Parkland when he called them. They had to race back down and pick me up then take me to the hospital where 10 minutes later they left because it was nothing serious and I didn't want them to have to stay around. If one MAJOR car accident came in that would be it and we wouldn't get out until about 1 or 2 am.

As it was he recieved MUCH faster care then when I had the galbladder surgery. Which I thought I had a picture representing because it was Thanksgiving 2007 but I guess not.

316/365 dindin

2009-11-12T01:02:19Z

316/365 dindin
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

It was a busy Monday and my love made me excellent dinner that made all wonderful.

315/365 portrait thru reflection

2009-11-12T01:02:05Z

315/365 portrait thru reflection
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

Tony and I went out to Stromboli's with my parents and Joe. It was Joe's 12th birthday and it was really a lot of fun to hang out. It was in the same shopping center that it used to be in but in a different restaurant.

This is us. You can see me seeing you, can't you?

314/365 nomnom

2009-11-12T01:01:42Z

314/365 nomnom
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

(sooc cuteness)

Today I spent with a Kitten, my bestie Lacey (and we totally did pooltime fo like 4 hours), parts of Juno and then my hubby watching a movie and eating a roast.

It was a splenderrific day.

famous bellagio pool

2009-11-07T03:02:02Z

famous bellagio pool
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

Yeah, it was a cool view. Not my view, it was my creep boss's but it was cool :D And one of my fave pics I've ever taken.

Shana - No Nonsense Regional Manager

2009-11-07T02:55:20Z

Shana - No Nonsense Regional Manager
Originally uploaded by NymphDuPave

So today I'm at work and I get the call: an inspection. And its taking place without the boss.

20 minutes later the most no-nonsense lady comes in, a ginger at that. She breezed in acting like she owned the place. I couldn't get her to cooperate or understand that the owners weren't in. She didn't care. She was crazed.

Clearly as you can see in the second picture, she wasn't happy with what she found. The joint just wasn't up to par. This woman was bossy, she was demanding. She raided our candy and flipped over a chair several times when angered but not provoked.

She then decided that we'd tired her our with our unprofessionalism and the lack of standards, so she promptly laid on the ground and took a nap.

Thank God this lady is not as tough as Pearl.

(this link - and Stranger than Fiction - is the reason I have pledged my undying love and support for Will Ferrell, through good films and bad).