I had another dream about the Cowboy last night. I'm worried about him. He's visiting his dying son up in Kentucky. There cannot be anything but strength and sadness in a person that has to make funeral arrangements for someone that is still breathing.

I want to call him, but I don't know if I should. Is it selfish to want to let him know that you're there for him? To let him know that you care and are thinking of him? Would it be better not to call, to let him work through things by himself and just hope that he knows you're there for him?



For the presentation. At first you're like, okay, what's the big deal?

Now, let me first say that I am not a fucking telemarketer and there's a reason. I'm not cut out for that shit. You have to ignore their nastiness and their 'no's and their suspicions. You have to be pushy and call all the time. You have to come off as being caring, bright, cheerful, helpful and forgiving (when people don't show up and you have to call to reschedule them) all the while hating the people calling because they represent $250 for your company, an unknown amount of that for you.

That's not me. When I meet someone new, I'm shy. If I have to I talk to them, in social situations I hide behind the nearest person I know. That's better that what I used to do. Just a little over a year I used to hide in Alice's bed. A lot. Or I'd pretend to go to sleep. All the time. I'm that shy (but I am getting over it; baby steps).

I think it's odd that I kept picking jobs where my performance is baised so highly on my people skills. Waitress, Guest Rep (which is fucking one on one) and now Receptionist where every now and then people remind me that I'm the first impression of the company because I'm there.

No pressure.

So anyway, Slim Jim and Sue want me to call these people. I think, okay, sure. If I can confirm that maybe one or two are coming, then we can all can go home because it's expensive to stay open for naught. I'm lazy, I like being home.

So I pick up the phone and call. Everytime I actually reached someone they were incredibly nasty to me. Telling me they weren't coming, asking me why I keep calling, not beliving me when I told them this is the first time and that I'm from the company and that I'm just calling to confirm that they will be attending and to be of service to them as far as directions go and everything. Only one person that I spoke to was nice, over two days of calling for 6 presentations and he was rescheduling.

I have a self-confidence complex. Basically I don't have one. If I don't see my friends for a long time I'm worried they don't like me. I'm sure that I just haven't made the connection to my past yet, that's not the point. The point is I was rattled. That second to last call did me in. I had called this lady on the phone number provided by the marketing company. Turns out it was her cell phone. She was extremely cold and told me never to call again.

I told Sue I wasn't doing the confirms anymore.

How can people (telemarketers) deal with that shit? I know it's not personal, but damn. I'm always polite to them, I tell them I'm not interested and to have a nice day. I hang up if they get pushy, but I'm never outright bitchy. I always try to be nice to people, at least until I know them.

Maybe we all should be! Maybe everyone should be bitchy and say no, no, no, no and then telemarketing would cease to exist.

Ah, well. That would never work. Somebody would miss the memo.

So, yeah, things are so cool with this company that we're doing the fulfillment for other travel clubs. That's cool. We're the real deal and it's nice to be involved in the real deal. I just wish we wouldn't use the damn marketing companies. There has GOT to be a better way to advertise. Everyone comes in thinking we're Timeshare or a scam and I *hate* that because I see how hard our agents work to get people the best price. Yeah, they get a little lazy during lunch time ;D, but they work.

OMG, enough with the boring shit. Yikes. I'm gonna have some cleaning to attend to tomorrow.